- The strongest aspect of this piece is the story that Daniel’s mom is telling about her experience in Cambodia. So the details.
- Yes the writer has included concrete, sensory details when he writes about the way his mom felt when being awoken by her father to escape and also when she got to America.
- This narrative can be strengthened by adding more about how his mother felt and what happened after she got to the Bronx and it’s positive and negative.
- What I need to change is the wording and make it more fluent. Add a better introduction. Add more sophisticated words. Add on to the conclusion put in powerful sentences.
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